Dee: (The) Mama Blog

I am going to be so honest to you. I do not have it altogether. This motherhood journey.. I am taking it a day at a time; and there is a lot of the time where I do question my ability as a mother. I do question have I not done something right with my children? But what's funny is.. our children think we are the best. And that's what we need to keep in our minds whenever we decide to doubt. A lot of the time I do compare myself to parents I see when I go out into the world.. parents on social media that are taking all of these lovely pictures of their children that have hit every milestone and are just flourishing in every way imaginable. And I think to myself, "Am I doing it right?" "Am I good enough to be a parent?" But you know something? I had to stop myself in my own tracks.. because firstly what I am doing to myself mentally; I am already bringing myself down, and what that does is affect me negatively.. and as I am affected in this negative ligh...

So... I had to ban my 3 year old from watching a cartoon movie called 'The Secret life of pets 2" I'm sure all parents have seen this movie, and have probably seen the first one too. There's a particular scene in this film where a rabbit and a monkey are fighting. On this occasion, he was copying how they were fighting and kicked his brother in the stomach. He cried. I immediately turned it off and told him what he did was wrong-- told him to apologize to his brother and that was it. I honestly forget that kids copy EVERY SINGLE THING that they see-- because this is how they learn and retain information. This happening was a wake up call that I can't just let my children just watch anything; despite this being a cartoon for kids, there are still gonna be certain scenes that may not be appropriate-- ex-- fighting. It's our job as parents to be vigilant and mindful that everything that they see they will copy.. so we most definitely have to be the first ...

She hears faint crying from upstairs. She sighs, gets up from her work desk and drags her feet up the creaky stairs. Still dragging her feet, she pokes her head from the side of the door. "Huh?" She flicked on the light and looked at her baby completely drenched in vomit. "Oh my God!" She picked up her baby boy, wiped him with one of her towels hanging on the side of the bed. Vomit continued to eject from the baby's small mouth. She kept wiping away the vomit from his mouth and his body. She felt his little stomach churning and bubbling.  She continued to hold him upright, patting his small back gently. She held him until he went back to sleep.

During this whole pandemic/quarantine period I have realized that I need to mix it up with my food! Especially with my kids too. It's so easy to get stuck in habits and not actually closely look into food habits and what new things can be tried and tested. It's actually very easy to cook up a recipe for kids-- and at this point in time I'm working on getting my boys to like veggies. So far.. they only really like corn. Which is a start! But the other veggies I have only tried once and didn't go down too well. Broccoli... carrots.. yeah... need to try them again. lol. But my point is.. for kids, we can make eating good food fun, and not a chore. The reason why I'm so on it mainly is because of my youngest-- because of his extreme allergies he is really bound to only chicken, fish, rice and pasta. As well as a different variety of meat, some fruit, (he's allergic to banana), and of course veg. My oldest LOVES fruit, which I am so happy for-- and I wa...

There is always going to be a side eye or a comment to how everybody deals with their children.. There's people that don't believe in spanking... There's people that don't believe in shouting at their children.. You get the picture. But there's one thing we need to get straight: There is a different between disciplining your child and spanking your child. Spanking your child is literally... causing some physical pain- whether it would be a smack on the bum or hand. Whereas discipline is teaching your child a lesson through punishment. Punishment is not spanking. A punishment can be putting them on the naughty step, or taking away one of their favourite toys for the day-- and then once you do this, you explain to your child why you are doing this so that they understand not to do this again. Me personally.. I just got knocked in the mouth and that was it. No explanation, no warning.. just a pop in the mouth and got told to not do it again. But the kids ...

He reaches for his mother's hand as they walk together on the pavement. His little hand clasps on his mother's index finger as he points to all of the cars that pass. "That's a red car!" "Car!" "Yes, a red car!" He continues to point to all the different cars. "Ok, we need to go into the shop now, ok?" "Yes" They walk into the shop and pass baby clothes, milk, baby food, yoghurt, pasta-- until they reach the queue for the check out. She sees her son pointing to something on the shelf. "What's that?" He continues to point "Chocolate? No, not today. ok?" He begins to scream and shout. "No. We don't do this outside. We need to go now" She picks him up by his arm and takes him further down the queue. He continues to point in the direction of the chocolate. "No."

I'm taking this lockdown as something very positive. It's true.. we can't go out.. It's true.. we can't see loved ones.. It's true.. we can't even be out for too long.. But we can make the time that we have productive. Don't even get me wrong here... being at home all the time with children is a challenging! Because not only do we have to get what we need to get down, but we also have to entertain and engage our children as well. Not just anyhow but also in a way where they are stimulated for sometime. Seeing as they can't go to nursery.. we still have to try and implement a similar type of routine. I won't even lie... when the lockdown was first announced.. I was literally just sitting in the house watching TV with my kids.. I kept saying in my head.. "I can't do thissss….. 2 kids!" It really made me appreciate nurseries, schools, teachers.. I don't know how they do it. But as the weeks have been going by.. I...

There is no one that can mentally prepare you for the task of  POTTY TRAINING!! Before even venturing into the very exciting world of potty training-- your child has to show some certain signs that display they are ready. A couple of them could be; when they want to poo, they go and hide somewhere to do it... another could be is that they can fully tell you that they have done a poo, they'll feel uncomfortable in a full or soiled nappy; or take off the nappy altogether. Every child is different and will display these signs at certain times-- they normally say before they start primary school (So that's either age 4 or 5) they must be potty trained. WHEW! I'm currently encountering this journey with my 3 year old and it's TOUGH. It's a little more challenging because my son isn't speaking to that level yet where he can tell me that he needs to wee or poo-- but a RECENT development is that he can NOW tell me he's done a poo! Once he's finished doi...

"You have just eaten, sit down!" He starts to scream. "If I have to get up and tell you again I'm going to send you upstairs!" He runs over to where is dad is sitting and hits him. "Don't do that! Come here, now!" He starts to breathe quickly and throws himself onto the floor "No!" "Don't make me have to call you again" He puts his head in his small hands. Slowly taking steps towards his mum; he clings to her leg. "Now, what you are going to do is go to your father and say sorry. You don't hit your dad!" He shakes his head. "Come on. Go and say sorry or no toys."    He rubs my leg and says sorry. "No. Not me. Go over to your dad and tell him sorry" He takes baby steps to where his dad sits. He takes his hand and rubs it. "Sorry."

Being positive is everything at this time.. it is a very powerful tool and it can move mountains. Regardless of whatever maybe happening in this world at this time or in your life... there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Do not be dismayed at this time! It's not going to last forever; nothing lasts forever! But as we are going through the motions.. it may feel like it's never going to end. Even though we can't leave our houses.. we can't see close friends/loved ones etc.. we should still see this time as productive and still utilize the time that we do have. You see how life can be so hustle and bustle that even sometimes we don't even have time for our own selves..? See how the tables have turned now? Don't look at this whole thing as something scary or negative... but have a different perspective and keep reminding yourself that this is not forever. x

Have you ever imagined a running commentary of what goes on in your child's head in a day? It must be so entertaining because the way kids see things are not the way we see things-- I know that for sure!  There was a time I was on the bus with my 1 year old, and a dog boarded the bus... Come and see a full blown meltdown.. crying, screaming, snot bubbles.. pointing... oh my goodness gracious me. But to be honest was the meltdown caused by the fact he couldn't actually comprehend what this creature is that came on the bus with four legs and a tail? LOL. He was probably thinking in his head... "I don't know what this is!" "Why does it have four legs?" "Why is it walking?" "What IS that?" Bahahaha. Because honestly we have to remember kids are learning things everyday and seeing new things everyday.. they are so innocent and pure so they don't know EVERYTHING that we know as of yet... And as we're current...

"Your brother is crying, can you not see?" Copious amount of tears roll down his chubby cheeks "Are you going to say sorry to your brother?" "No!" Then I'm going to send you to stand at the wall. He flings himself on the floor and screams at the top of his lungs. "Then you have to get up, and say sorry." She lifts him up and puts him by his crying brother. "Go on, say sorry." He stands there looking his mum in the eyes. "Say sorry and give him a hug" He looks at the floor. "Come on..." He takes 1 step. Then two. He rubs his brother arm. "Sorry" "Thank you, now give him a hug" His brother opens his arms and he hugs him. The two boys then go over to their mum and hug her and give her kisses on the cheek.

In my quiet time I was thinking to myself... "What can I tell my boys about our family history?" My mother was pretty much all that I had.. and now that she is gone I do have a very heavy feeling of regret on my heart because I never got a chance to sit down with her and talk about the history of the family. It's good to know where you came from and the details.. it's something that you should most definitely not sleep on when you have your parents/grandparents around. There are days where I do get a little down and wish my kids could have met their Grandma... They could listen to stories of what she's been through.. and everything. Be grateful if you still have your grandparents around; and while they are around do not shun them and spend as much time as possible. If you are fortunate to know of your family history; or you've got enough information-- definitely pass it down to your kids. They need to know about where they are from. They need to ha...