Transparency Tuesday: I don't know what the hell I'm doing!

-


I'm sure you read the title with one eyebrow raised...

I'm a mother of 2.. and a lot of the time I really do NOT know what I am doing. I just know that I have to make sure I keep my kids.. ALIVE.

So.. I have to at least make sure they're clean, they're fed, they're happy and that they are developing well..

Right. So I KNOW I need to do these things... but HOW?

Let me be real with you.

When I had my first child, I just took it day by day. And somehow everything came naturally. You begin to bond with your child, you learn their routine, their needs, their scheduling etc and you begin to grasp this mother thing..
But as they continue to grow.. they also change and you have to do everything over and over again.. as they grow older their needs change as well as everything else!

When I had my second child.. it wasn't as hard, but because this is a completely different human being to my first, I have to learn about him and learn his likes, dislikes, his routine, his needs...

A lot of the time I really think I'm doing it all wrong because when I go out with my two boys and I see other parents with their kids playing quietly in their buggies or sitting quietly on the bus next to them-- and there's me with my eldest child having a tantrum in the buggy and the second screaming his lungs out..
And do you know what really grinds my gears? When people see your child having a tantrum, crying etc-- (maybe I'm just assuming) But I feel like that 5 minutes or even 2 seconds they saw it-- in their mind they're like "Oh... well they can't handle their child"
It's not that... children are still learning about their environment and boundaries.. so sometimes it becomes overwhelming (or it could be they're hungry lol)
Either way kids are kids and they will have a moment!

[small rant over]

But the main thing I've learned is to never compare. We are all different and our kids are different too.
As much as they may misbehave or not listen... whatever it maybe, we are their parents and we know them better than anyone else.

This motherhood journey is a learning curve.. EVERYDAY I learn something new about myself and my kids.

Don't beat yourself up parents... you are all doing a great job.

Comments

  1. Dee Mutambisi31 January 2020 at 14:36

    Every child is different but uniquely special. Love this piece

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughtful Thursday: "You're a big boy now"

-
So... with Matthew turning 3, I've had to start implementing the phrase, "You're a big boy now", when it comes to certain things that are considered baby-ish; or to kind of enforce independence.. So a prime example is.. he is very used to sitting on my lap. I don't want to stop it, but when we are in particular places, like on the bus, or places where he can sit down; I'm trying to enforce that.  He's still small and cute so sometimes I even forget and just put him on my lap-- but then I later realize that he is getting heavy! lol I'm starting (well kind of), to encourage him to eat on his own. But he's already shown me inklings that he wants to. He will literally take the spoon from me and start feeding himself. So now I'll go 'You're a big boy now, you have to eat at the table." He was reluctant at first, but when he saw his brother eating, he was encouraged. lol. He has his moments when he wants me to feed him, but it's a gr...
Read more

Transparency Tuesday: More understanding

-
When I was growing up, I think my mother didn't take time to actually understand what kind of child/person I was. My mother was born and bred in Ghana; and moved to the UK. So obviously, her culture is heavily African. My mother was very loving and supportive, don't get me wrong, but I can remember my mum used to talk for me whenever someone was talking to me directly, so I wouldn't get to speak up for myself... and anytime I would want to talk to her, I would get a 'Don't worry, don't worry' and get shunned. So this in turn made me a shy child. Now after having kids of my own, I can understand why she did certain things-- she probably thought she was protecting me to an extent. Because obviously... when your child starts asking you questions... you don't actually want to answer them.. you don't want them knowing certain things so early! It's an abomination! But... in this time we're in now.. the children are developing at such a fast rate......
Read more

Thoughtful Thursday: My word for the year

-
Thanks to another mama on Instagram (theprettygirlsguide, check her out); I've decided to have a word to round up my year. My word is: Mindful So there are goals I have set for myself and my kids this year.. and I need to make sure I'm mindful in all aspects of fulfilling them. Being mindful of my intentions, my actions, learning, lessons.. everything. This word stood out for me when I saw the post by theprettygirlsguide and I just went, "Yep, that's my word". I've never actually chosen a word to focus on for the year-- so hopefully by doing this I'll be more determined to do what I need to do... I'm being more mindful about what I speak into existence I'm being more mindful about my thoughts and my attitude  I'm being more mindful about what I teach my kids and how I deal with them I'm being more mindful towards myself.. self care.. and what I want to achieve For me... mindfulness is an inside work and it will work it's way out. What ...
Read more