So.… I've been a bit absent from the blog... Myself and the boys are now in a new routine. They have now finally started school and getting used to the adjustment is something else. I haven't needed to wake up at 6 for at least 2 years now looool, so going back to that is a wake up call. But I'm so proud of the boys.. they have adjusted well. The first day was... a nightmare. Jeremiah was screaming and crying and throwing himself on the floor... and Matthew thought I was coming into school with him, so the moment he realized he was crying and crying... and the school had to call me back to collect him. The second day... it was a complete 360 and they walked into the school like they've been doing it all their lives. I felt like the worst mother ever on the first day-- there were other kids having tantrums and meltdowns but I felt like.. it's always my children that have meltdowns.. or this could just be my own paranoia.. Jeremiah is struggling a little bit to settle...
I sometimes forget that just like us, our kids can have not so good days. Maybe they're just not in the mood... they're a little bit more sensitive today, or something has just really upset them and they have just decided they will cry until they decide they want to stop. There was a day I picked up Jeremiah from nursery and I realized that he was a bit tearful. One of his teachers told me he pinched one of his classmates and they told him off.. but they told me he was ok at storytime.. When he got dismissed... all he was doing was crying. Well... shouting. lol. Wailing. So I gave him a hug and a kiss and we went. Still crying. I tried to butter him up with some juice. Gave it to him. Cried after inhaling the juice. At this point I know he wanted a little bit of attention... Still shouting/crying. So at this point until we got home I just came to the conclusion he has decided this is what he wants to do. lol. But I don't take into consideration that even young children can...
I had an emotional outburst.. and yelled at my boys. I know my boys don't like it when I yell... The boys were jumping and crashing into the chairs like wrestlers.. and I could foresee one of them hurting themselves.. and that is exactly what happened. I had said "stop" about 5 times... and boom Matthew bumps his head for the third time in the space of 3 days. I got angry and started to yell at them.. saying they don't listen and why is it that you always jump in the chairs when I say you don't do that.. Yeah. I blew. But what I noticed is that Jeremiah's reaction was different.. normally he would cry and say 'No mummy!"... but this time he just went 'Ok!" and made a face and went silent. I don't want to be the cause to why my kids suppress their emotions. I want them to always express themselves. It's healthy and it's the right thing to do.. I suppressed and I do not want that cycle to continue.
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