Transparency Tuesday: More understanding

When I was growing up, I think my mother didn't take time to actually understand what kind of child/person I was.

My mother was born and bred in Ghana; and moved to the UK. So obviously, her culture is heavily African.

My mother was very loving and supportive, don't get me wrong, but I can remember my mum used to talk for me whenever someone was talking to me directly, so I wouldn't get to speak up for myself... and anytime I would want to talk to her, I would get a 'Don't worry, don't worry' and get shunned. So this in turn made me a shy child.

Now after having kids of my own, I can understand why she did certain things-- she probably thought she was protecting me to an extent.

Because obviously... when your child starts asking you questions... you don't actually want to answer them.. you don't want them knowing certain things so early! It's an abomination!

But... in this time we're in now.. the children are developing at such a fast rate... and they want to learn and understand things. But for us as parents.. we need to also take time and understand our children:

What makes them want to close off? 

What causes them to shut down? 

What makes them feel comfortable?

What do we need to do to ensure they are getting the best emotional support? 

Because we have to remember that everything starts from home-- whatever they are exposed to at home, is what they will take with them wherever they go. Understanding our children is a big key to how we relate to them and how they even relate to us.

My daily prayer is for God to help me to understand my children well, and give me the knowledge and wisdom to raise them-- because when you understand someone well enough, it causes that person to feel reassured that 'Ok, this person knows me' and that opens up a big door. A door of comfortability-- and once you have gained that, there is no reason to worry for your child to go elsewhere for moral support or for faulty advice-- this is why we have to draw them closer from the beginning. 

I know the older generations would be so against this kind of thing-- but parenting is changing and the children these days are so advanced--- how we were raised.. was a completely different time!

 

Understanding is key to everything.