Dee: (The) Mama Blog

"Mummy there! Look!" "What am I looking at?" "There!" "The sweets?" "Yeah, sweets please" "No... no sweets right now.""

So.. I don't know if any of you do this... but sometimes I fast forward a couple of years ahead and envision how my children will be... I'm so terrified I'm going to be an overprotective mother. Like.. the scary overprotective.. my mother was like that.. and even my brother is scarily like that. And it's all stemming from the fact that I don't want them to go through anything that I went through.. or anything that they are not supposed to go through. But... I don't have control over that.. and I also don't want to be so overbearing that they don't have any kind of life experience at all.. I'm just scared honestly.. how the world was when I was their age isn't the same.. The world is more corrupt.. and more scary.. and more evil. But that doesn't mean I have to keep them in a 'safety bubble' right? At this point it's all in the hands of God. Because I can't do this by my own strength. If I become that overprotective mother.. I ...

I know I have blogged about this before.. But it still grinds my gears! Why if you have 1 child.. or 2 children that are boys.. or 2 children that are girls.. the first question to come from a strangers mouth is; "Aren't you gonna give him/her a sibling?" or "You have 2 boys.. you want to try for a girl?" Why is that the first question that pops into the mind of people please? 1 child is hard enough.. 2 is a lot of work and I can't imagine how it feels to have anymore than 2! I was taking Matthew to an appointment; I had both boys-- and there was a lady who just had a baby girl. She was like 'Oh.. 2 boys. I don't want another one" LOL. And I felt everything she said. Boys are a lot of work... Yet people are pronouncing pregnancy on us by force. Please, if you're going to be my live in nanny... then maybe I'll consider it. (I'm done...)

"Mummy, the sun!" "Yeah, what about the sun?" "Sun! Mum, what's that?" "What's what babe?" "Cat!" "Oh yeah that's a cat." "Mummy what's that?" "That's the beast" "Oh beast, ok." "Mummy,what's that?" "That's mickey mouse" "Mickey mouse, ok"

Speak to them... not AT them. Apologize to them when you are in the wrong. Acknowledge their feelings. Realize that how you speak to your children, will become their inner voice. Comfort and encourage. No matter how young they are, they absorb everything. When they are upset/angry/frustrated; remain calm. (as hard as it maybe) Your calmness is their comfort. These don't make you a perfect parent.. these make you a PAREN,T, that is present and intentional in your child's life. Parenthood in a nutshell. We are not perfect. We are learning every single day.

So Jeremiah had an opportunity to go and see his new primary school.. which I am so grateful for, because the original open day, he wasn't able to go. But this time, it was more intimate and we were able to have a look around his classroom and was able to speak to his soon to be teacher and for him to meet the teacher-- which I think is absolutely great, considering I am now trying to gear Jeremiah to understand that he won't be going to nursery anymore, and that he will be going to 'big school.' Jeremiah loved it. He got upset when we had to leave. He connected to the playground first, which I knew would happen, because he loves being outside... lol. But when we went into the classroom, (the nursery and reception classroom are together) he immediately spotted the Gruffalo-- that made me so happy because that's what we are reading at home currently. It was the head of EYFS that was showing us around, and he kept saying, "He looks happy, that's always a good...

"Mummy!" "Yes?" "Are you ok?" "I'm fine.. and you?" "I'm fine.." "Mummy!" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "I'm doing a wee" "Ok. wee-wee" "That doesn't mean you need to come up here!"

"I can't do it!" Matthew yelped as he struggled to put on his shorts. So Matthew has been potty training for a good couple of months now-- and he's doing pretty good. He's got the hang of when he needs to go to the potty, can tell me he needs to poo/wee etc.  But now his struggle is to dress himself. Can I even say struggle? He can partially dress/undress himself, it's just a bit more practice. Matthew does this thing now where whenever he goes to the potty he will strip. Well.. partially lol. So he will take off his pants and shorts or whatever he's wearing and then when it's time to put it back on he's asking for help. The first couple of times I helped him.. but then I went to myself, '"Wait a minute! This is a teachable moment.. this is where he can learn how to dress himself up" The first maybe 10 times... he had tantrums because he's used to me helping him.. so the change from "Mummy help!" and me going "ok...

So it's been just over a week since my birthday.. I honestly am still overwhelmed by all of the love I received and just the overall vibes.. it was absolutely amazing. But something happened on the second day I went out, (I went out on two different days to dinner..! lol) I left the boys with someone to babysit them; they are very familiar with this person, so I knew everything would be fine. But as I was making my way out-- the boys just had a complete meltdown. It was so strange because I went out the night before and they were fine. I felt guilty and a little bit responsible for their meltdown, not because I'm going out and leaving them, but because I don't do that often, they are seriously not used to that. If I had made it a regular occurrence that at least a couple of times in the month or a once a week, I leave them with someone or I just leave them with their dad and go-- they would have already been used to it and not had such a dramatic moment. But it's a proc...

This is my first time going through this process.. the nerve wracking search for schools... going on millions on websites.. reading what each school has to offer and mentally picturing if your child 'fits' their criteria? (or is it only me that does this?), looking for specifics in their curriculum and what their core values are... because you have to remember your child is going to spend the next 6 years of their life in this school-- at least let it have all of the things that they can and will benefit from right? Then as you're compiling your choices.. you now have to mentally visualize school journeys.. traffic.. routes.. etc. ..and you submit the form. The agonizing wait for the results... The results are in! And Bingo! The result we needed. Now... it's time to get ready for a potential school visit... getting uniforms.. transition meetings and the all .. Lets not forget nursery! Because both of my boys are going to the same place.. more paperwork and more administ...

So guys... Chapter 33 (my birthday) is on Monday!!! I always get really pensive and nostalgic near to my birthday because I like to reflect on myself and what I've done in the past year... what I can do better.. what I need to improve on or change..  I can be so hard on myself when it comes near to my birthday because I feel like I haven't done much.. but when I really look back.. I've done a lot-- sometimes the people that are close to me remind me. And in 6 years I'll be 40. Jeremiah will be 11, Matthew will be 9... I just can't comprehend it all.