Dee: (The) Mama Blog

No matter how organized you have to be... do you still manage to feel overwhelmed? The past week and a half has been so hectic for me... I've had to go up and down every single day to appointments, school open days, virtual and phone calls... chile!  I think because literally everything has been back to back since last week--- I'm just like *breathe* Sometimes I get a bit of anxiety because I feel like I won't be able to make the appointments, or something might go wrong, or I might not get good news. Yeah.. need to stop that-- anything you programme into your mind is what will manifest. this is why we need to speak and think positive. And I guess sometimes I kind of want to beat the stereotype, (is it even a stereotype?) that parents are always late to things? Because honestly, before Jeremiah started nursery, I took the two of them to a lot of Matthew's hospital appointments (He's currently got a dietician, and his allergy appointments were at the hospital before ...

"Why have you changed your clothes?" "This one!" "Yes. But what was wrong with what you were wearing?" "Matty wee wee on it" "Can I have the clothes please?" "The clothes are dry... change back into what you were wearing please"

I'm not bashing the term at all..  But obviously being 'super' means that you can do it all... And honestly.. I can't do it all. Just last night I had a pile of plates in the sink and still a couple of loads of laundry to do. At first I was all for the we are superwoman, we can do it all, we're undefeated etc etc. But we also breakdown, we have our severe off days. And when you think about it.. Superman has kryptonite; something that compromises his powers. So REALLY.... how we (well, me.. I can only speak for myself, right?) associated the term 'Superwoman' with just strength and being able to do everything that is expected of us.. but honestly, we can't do it all. We aren't superwomen, but in the eyes of our children, we are super. And that's all that matters. And I really wanted to match up with this term.. I really wanted to do it all, and when I wasn't able to, I beat myself up for it. As mothers there is already so much expected from us...

So... I seem to always find myself in the middle of my boys' squabbling and bickering... if it's not over a toy.. it's over a cup.. if it's not over a cup, it's over the tablet.. and so on and so forth But I realized something the other day.. why am I even involving myself? Well I have to intervene sometimes to point out certain things (Sharing, etc) but overall, they actually can solve their own problems amongst themselves. I saw this the other day and I just laughed so much to myself. The boys were fighting over parts of the lego train, Jeremiah had two of them, and Matthew wanted to play with one of them. So I encouraged Jeremiah to give Matthew one and they play together. He shouted 'No' very passionately and then pushed Matthew. I told him that it's not nice to do that, and while I was saying that.. Matthew pushed him back.... I then left them to it because it was escalating.. and then as soon as I left.. do you know what happened? Jeremiah went to ...

"Mum! No running, walk!" "Yes, that's right, you need to walk when we are outside" "Walk" "Yes and you need to hold my hand too" "Why?"

The boys and I were on our way home and they were sharing a lollipop. It was starting to melt and Matthew had the smallest little bit of left, but was savouring the experience.. licking and licking and licking... But it was melting a lot on his clothes, so I said to him 'Let me help you' and took the bit of the stick and ate it. He cried. There was a man sitting not too far from us that went to him straight away and said 'No, boys don't cry'. And he kept saying it, over and over. Then the boys started to say it. In my mind I was like 'Don't teach my children this'; I didn't say anything because you know how funny people can be.. especially on the buses here in the UK. When we got off the bus... I told the boys. "You can cry. There is nothing wrong with crying. Don't cry over a lollipop because we can get another one.. but if you need to cry, you can cry ok?" And the both went 'Ok, cry'.  Honestly.. I have nothing against the man...

I don't know if this happens to you... But AT LEAST once a week, a random stranger on the bus or even when I'm walking with the boys, will strike up a conversation with me. It's not bad, I guess I have welcoming energy, or a welcoming demeanour, but it's so funny to me. On this particular occasion, I was on the bus with the boys, they were sitting watching stuff on their tablets, and a lady that was sitting next to me just went "How old are your boys?" And the conversation went on from there.. The most common question I get is 'Do you not want a girl?' No. No I do not. Are you gonna take care of her for me? Because I'm set with my two boys. Why does that question always need to be asked? Do you know what we mothers go through? Having kids is not just giving birth, it's a whole J O B! But yeah she went on to ask how is it to raise boys so close in age... and then she asked a question which I found interesting.. She asked how do I feel raising bo...

"Mummy I not happy!" He says and crosses his arms "Why?" "Not happy." "What happened?" "Matty's not happy"

What are your thoughts on the phrase 'It takes a village to raise a child" I'm literally thinking out loud as I write this-- but would love to have thoughts from you who is reading! I think it's great. I think it's wonderful-- raising a child should not only be just us as the parents.. I believe it is healthy for our children to be exposed to other people who can instil great wisdom and knowledge. Obviously, as the parents, we are the ones that decide who will be around our kids and so forth, but in my personal opinion I think it's great not only for us as the parents but for the children. I believe the only possible thing that could happen is there could be some clashes... clashes in parenting choices, (discipline and the like), clashes in what you decide to teach your children, (independence, etc) but at the end of the day, we are their parents and it's ok to put our foot down when it comes to certain things. I think the only way that this kind of thing c...

Bahahaha… I must say lockdown has stunted our social lives... but I had the chance to go out by myself.. with NO CHILDREN and a had a hell of a time! I'm part of a book club by a sister of mine (she's not my biological sister but she is close enough to be one), and it was our time to meet up and discuss the book that we were reading for that time. Guys. It felt so good. And do you know what the best part is? I did not feel guilty about it! Usually.. when I go out and leave my kids behind.. I would get extreme mummy guilt and just be imagining what they are doing at that point in time.. and they would take over my mind that I forget about myself. But I've now come to the realisation that it should be the NORM for me to have time for myself.. to recharge and to unwind. It's not everyday.. I need a BREAK. And that does not mean I am a bad mom! It felt so good that for a long time I'm on my own.. doing what I want to do.. adult conversation. Amazing. And the place was a...

"Mummy happy?" "No baby.. mummy's not happy" "Mummy cry? Why?" "I love you" She opens her arms out and he walks into her embrace.

Honestly... I had a very hard week/weekend last week with Jeremiah. I don't know what was happening but it's like he was in meltdown mode anytime we would go outside. The day before they broke up for half term.. it was just all over the place. I decided I wanted to do some quick errands before dropping him off to nursery, but from when we went to the shops... until we go to the nursery... meltdown. Throwing himself on the floor.. screaming. throwing things, kicking.. all of it. When we got to the nursery gates.. he clung to my leg.. so I literally had to hoist him on my shoulder and carry him in.. while doing this he is kicking and screaming and hits me in the face. People were staring.. I always get stares when Jeremiah's behaviour goes a bit over the rails.... And then this carried onto the weekend.. I went to my local Tesco.. he threw the biggest meltdown/tantrum, knocking displays and throwing the stuff I was checking out (was at self checkout) to the point one of my it...

I always pray for understanding when it comes to raising my boys. Raising children does not come with a manual-- we literally learn as we go. Children are little human beings who will soon grow to be adults, but as they growing, we are the ones that are responsible for instilling things that they will resonate with for the rest of their lives. Sometimes I sit down and I go 'Can I really do that?!" Yes. Yes. I can.  Yes. Yes YOU can. Everything in life needs understanding. Understanding in the key to everything. When you have understanding of yourself.. you know what needs to be worked on and what needs to be maintained. When you're in a relationship.. or having friendships, once you understand what works and what doesn't.. the relationship can progress from there. When it comes to our children.. once we understand their personality..what triggers them, what makes them feel better, what they like, what they dislike... you get the point, we can start from there. With chi...