Dee: (The) Mama Blog

So... I've started this thing with my children-- well not started. I've been doing it for over 6 months at best: entitling my children to choices. So for example, for breakfast... I will ask Jeremiah what he wants. BUT I will give him two choices to choose from. I wanted to start this because it not only encourages him to speak, but he will also learn the responsibility of his choices. So if he decides that he wants Weetabix, and then a couple of spoons into eating it he says he doesn't want it-- I'm not changing it for him.. he has to finish it, because he CHOSE to eat it.  Before I would automatically pick what he wants to eat, but I needed to stop doing that otherwise he would always rely on me and not be able to decide for himself! But mind you.. dinner we all eat the same thing loool. The only exception is the fact that Matthew has food allergies, so depending on what it is, I'll do an alternative for him. Otherwise... we all eat the same thing lol. There will

"Don't touch that!" "Why?" He strokes the 'stop' button on the bus "Don't press it." He looks at her from the corner of his eye "I can still see your finger there.." He giggles

So... with this whole pandemic the only places that are available to get kids clothes from, (besides ordering online) is either Tesco, or Sainsbury's-- or if you have an Asda in your area, Asda. And don't get me wrong, the kiddie clothes in all of these places are reasonably price, and very quality.. but why is it that anywhere you go, there is an EXTREME limitation on what you can get for boys clothes/shoes/pyjamas? I went to my local Tesco about 2 weeks back looking for some Pyjamas.. and why was there one dinky little display for the boys pyjamas? But almost 2 aisles of clothes for the girls?? I understand girls have a lot more variety and combinations with their clothes.. but why are the boys clothes so limited? Can't boys have combos and variations too? And what makes it more annoying is because due to the limitation.. when you're looking for a particular size it's never there because there isn't much to choose from. I am having a moan because being a boy m

Does your child have a toy or blanket that they MUST take to bed with them? Just recently, (recently being about 2 months ago lol) Jeremiah, my 4 year old became obsessed with Dory, (Of Finding Dory, the sequel to Finding Nemo..) I bought it a while back, but one night he was looking for it to go to sleep-- I thought this was very new because he normally plays with it for the majority of the day; but doesn't normally go to sleep with it. Since that night... every night I need to make sure Dory is found otherwise it is a big deal! And now his little brother has followed and can't sleep without his little soft toy dog. It's actually quite cute; but I thought this happens when they're younger-- but I guess it can occur anytime? What is the connection.. is it just literal comfort or is it just because they are in love with that toy/blanket so much? I don't think I had something like this when I was younger... but eh it was such a long time ago, how would I remember? lol

"Come and eat your dinner!" "No! No eat!" He points to the plate of pasta bolognaise "Come and try, you have to at least have some" "No! No some!" She takes him by the hand and guides him to the table where his plate of food is waiting for him. She takes the fork and puts a little of the food into his mouth. "No!" He begins to chew the food slowly. "Is it nice?" She gives him the fork and he begins to eat.  "I know this is the first time, so have a little or as much as you can" He nods, taking another fork of pasta.

I did an Instagram Live last week, where I was speaking to fathers.  Listening to all of them really made me think... they were all pretty much saying the same thing when it comes to bonding with their children: making time for them, doing things that they like together etc. So even parents that are estranged or have been out of the picture for some time... if they decide they want to come back, it's never too late to cultivate that relationship with your child. For as long as they can see that you are making the time and really are making the effort (kids are extremely perceptive) there should be no reason why a bond can't be built. I was saying to the gentlemen on my Instagram live that a lot of the time fathers have now gained this bad reputation for not being around and it has now overshadowed the fathers that are actually putting in that work and embracing fatherhood. I guess it's because we don't ordinarily see mother's walking out on their children (it does h

When I was growing up, I think my mother didn't take time to actually understand what kind of child/person I was. My mother was born and bred in Ghana; and moved to the UK. So obviously, her culture is heavily African. My mother was very loving and supportive, don't get me wrong, but I can remember my mum used to talk for me whenever someone was talking to me directly, so I wouldn't get to speak up for myself... and anytime I would want to talk to her, I would get a 'Don't worry, don't worry' and get shunned. So this in turn made me a shy child. Now after having kids of my own, I can understand why she did certain things-- she probably thought she was protecting me to an extent. Because obviously... when your child starts asking you questions... you don't actually want to answer them.. you don't want them knowing certain things so early! It's an abomination! But... in this time we're in now.. the children are developing at such a fast rate...

"Tidy up all the toys please" "No!" "Jerry pick up, tidy up!" He pulls him by the arm towards the pile of toys.

It's ok if your child doesn't finish their dinner. It's ok if you give them a snack and they give it right back to you.. with a stern 'no' It's ok if your child has a tantrum (as daunting as it may be!) It's ok if you child has a strop It's ok if your child isn't in the mood It's ok if your children are fighting each other (as much as we don't like it. I sure don't lol) It's ok if your children want to have a spinning contest It's ok if your living room looks a mess It's ok if your have piles or laundry and leave it until tomorrow. It's ok if there are dirty dishes in the sink It's ok if your child has a meltdown It's ok if your children jump in muddy puddles IT'S OK! We put tooooo much pressure on ourselves as parents to have 'perfect' children; and trying to be the 'perfect' parent. As long as our children are healthy, fed and happy-- we are doing the best thing for them! We compare ourselves

So...my youngest, Matthew has food allergies. I didn't notice until he was about 3 months old-- when it came to breastfeeding, I could breastfeed thankfully by the grace of God, but it was never enough to JUST breastfeed.. so around 3 or 4 months I would combo feed with formula. That worked fine with Jeremiah, my 4 year old, but matthew, immediately after he would have the milk, he would vomit. I didn't understand what was happening. There was a time he broke out in a rash as well as vomit, and one of my close friends pointed out he may have a milk allergy. So I quickly went to see my health visitor to get him referred to the allergy service. I made note of the symptoms and the fact that he wasn't gaining weight as well. He had a skin prick test.. and low and behold milk and egg were the biggest factors of his allergy. He has an allergy test annually, so the following year we also had a blood test, and some other allergens popped up that he is allergic to... so currently Ma

"What do you want to eat for lunch?" "Eat rice!" "Do you want to eat rice?" "No! Paghetti!" "Ok ,you want spaghetti?" "No!" "Ok, so what do you want?" "No, eat paghetti, no eat rice, mummy" "Ok, so you don't want to eat right now?" "Mummy, eat rice!"

I'm sure we can all recall a funny moment, a humble moment, a sweet moment that we have had with our kids. I'm gonna share two with you that I sat down and went "Ok.. he's really growing!" This is with my 4 year old, Jeremiah. First moment: We got home from nursery collection, and the usual routine is we come in, take off our shoes, coats etc and then wash our hands. Both boys did that; but I still had my shoes on; because I'm usually up and down prepping for dinner, I forgot. What did Jeremiah do? He pointed to my shoes and said 'Mummy, shoes off!" I paused and had no reason to tell him off or shout-- I just said 'Ok, I'm taking my shoes off. Thank you." Second moment: Jeremiah needed to poo--- there are times he will say 'Mummy poo' and go to the toilet. There's other times he will kind of hover around the toilet, especially if I'm around. So this particular instance, I could see he needed to go for a poo. I asked him, &

I had my first session of speech and language, virtually last week. And when I tell you I wanted to pull my hair out... I got so upset by the end. Jeremiah was running off... when it was his turn to partake in the activity he would hit the phone out of my hand and shout 'No', and as much as the speech and language therapists that were there are like 'It's ok, if he needs to run around just make sure you try and bring him back' I can't help but overthink and have it in my mind that these people have already labelled my child as naughty...  Honestly, I feel for these kids that have to do virtual school-- it's not the same as being in the classroom.. let alone little children that have to do things virtually-- they don't really see it as anything.. they associate virtual with games or youtube.. so to do school or have sessions will definitely be a struggle. The only upside is that there was one part of the session where Jeremiah liked a lot and he engaged w