Dee: (The) Mama Blog

When I saw this quote on Instagram, I paused. Immediately I sat down and evaluated myself.  Honestly. When I had Jeremiah; I was very tough on him from when he could start to properly communicate (in his case it was more non verbal) but he acted out A LOT--tantrums, throwing things, trashing rooms... yeah... But by the grace of God, with some tough love at the beginning; and now he's able to speak more and express himself a little more, I'm not as tough as I was before. I did do a lot of shouting, punishments and the like-- but what I've seen is that as your child grows... they change, so you can't always handle them the way you handled them when they were a different age! With Matthew; I was a little more lenient with him because he was a bit calmer and a lot more quieter than Jeremiah.. but as he's nearing 3.. his personality is showing out more and I need to be a little tougher on him in certain areas! But because of how I was with Jeremiah.. I don't shout. I...

It's ok to be uncertain about what's to come... With an impending review from Boris tomorrow; to a lockdown that will take place for practically the beginning of 2021... I don't know how to feel at this point... Will 2021 be the sequel to 2020? Are the kids gonna be lockdown from school again for 3 months? Will things start to go on the up at some point in the new year? I honestly feel so indifferent... I hate not actually knowing what's happening. But we also have to remember that is life in general.. we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.. we don't even know if we will even MEET tomorrow... I'm feeling for my kids a little more.. because we can't go out as often as we would like.. because there is actually nowhere TO go. lol. And we have to be safe and sensible.. parks are opened.. but the weather is not great at this point.. and we are still under covid-19 measures... I do not see any social distancing going on AT ALL. Yet.. there is not a lot...

      MERRY CHRISTMAS/BOXING DAYYYY!!! No short story today. Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and Boxing day and a PROSPEROUS, HAPPY, HEALTHY AND BLESSED new year! Let's hope 2021 will be better!!

This is a continuation from the last post I made in regards to primary school...    So as I mentioned before I was able to finally set foot in a school and actually get a feel of the atmosphere etc.. As the headteacher was showing me around, he was going into how kids learn through play; and he made a comment along the lines of "You notice the parents that stick an Ipad or a phone on their lap by their speech" And it made me check myself, because between my two boys, Jeremiah delayed with speech, and Matthew didn't. But with Jeremiah, I did everything.. I would sing, read (I'm quite an animated parent.. I do voices and expressions lol), and have little conversations with him-- and I did the exact same thing with Matthew but yet he is more up to par with his speech than Jeremiah.   So what was he insinuating? That parents that give their kids Ipads and phones are less intelligent? Because honestly there are some times I do stick my kids on a tablet, but when I do it...

Towards the end of the year, I'm always in a state of reflection.. and the main question that is always ringing in my mind: What do you want to achieve in the year that is coming? We all have goals and accomplishments.. but of course we can't do them all at the same time; so which goal do I want to focus on first? This year I didn't really have any physical goals I wanted to achieve; everything was very internal and basically self work-- working on myself. I know working on yourself is a consistent job.. but this year it was more intentional and working on the things that I have noticed about myself which I needed to make an active change. One thing that I've realized in this year is that you really have the power to speak what you want into existence. I've seen it happen so many times and as long as you have faith and you work towards it! Speak towards your new year!

"Remember, when you need to poo say to me, Mummy I need to poo ok?" He nods "Do you need to poo?" "No poo mummy" "Ok" "Where are you going?" "Poo mummy!" "You need to poo? Go go go and poo!!" He sits on the toilet. He gets up. "Did you poo?" "I did poo" "Well done!!! You did poo in the big potty!"

So last week I FINALLY was able to set foot in a primary school. Jeremiah is due to start next September, but because of the pandemic, school tours have all been made into virtual/ and or a 2-5 minute video on the school's website. And.. honestly, we are really in hard times because whatever school that Jeremiah does get into.. this is the place he will be in for most of the day and for next SIX years. The LEAST that could happen is that as his parent, I can get a feel of the atmosphere and the people before I decide what would be good for son. But at the end of the day, I know that God is in control. The school I went to was very good; I was shown around by the headteacher, and he was very transparent and honest. The school is on my primary school list, but I've already got my eye on one and it's like I'm already attracted even though I haven't set foot in the school yet. God is in control at the end of the day!

There was a time I was at one of my friends' house, and they were just casually asking Jeremiah to get him a bottle-- it was a bottle of medicine. He stood there looking around for whatever she was asking for. When it was taking a while, she asked to get him her phone-- he picked it up swiftly and gave it to her. When she asked for the bottle again, (the bottle was in eyesight..) he was looking around. So I picked up the bottle and went 'Jeremiah you know what a bottle is! Waving it around his face' He put his head down and didn't even want to look at anything anymore. Then asking to get other things and him getting them-- we later realized he didn't actually recognize the word 'bottle' And I really checked my own self, and caused me to get into perspective. We don't realize the words that we use (I didn't until that day!) in general conversation, or even when we are instructing them. It just made me conscious to make sure I use a lot of vocabulary--...

"What's wrong?" "No!" "Do you want something to eat?" "No!" He starts to scream "Do you want a hug?" "No!" "Do you want to watch the cars?" He nods his head "Cars, please"

I had an experience on the bus that really made me think about how people perceive parents, or adults with children (whether if it's their niece, nephew, etc) I was on the bus with the boys, taking Jeremiah to nursery. Jeremiah had Matthew's toy dog, while Matthew was sitting in the buggy holding a small toy car. At some point, Matthew started banging he toy care on the bus pole. I told him a good couple of times to stop doing what he's doing... took it at one point and warned him not to do it. He goes 'Ok' He proceeds to bang again. At this point.. I was just like 'Forget it' I was sending emails from my phone to some schools (primary school stuff) where a man in probably his 50's, turns around and goes 'Control your child!' I paused, and stared at him for about a minute.  I said 'Excuse me, we're getting off soon, thanks' Ironically, he gets off a stop before me, at this point Matthew has stopped banging the car, and he reiterates ...

I broke down. Do you ever just have a week where everything just doesn't go the way you would have liked to go? You children are just doing the most.. You feel off You don't feel like doing stuff around the house.. You're just.. there. The month that just passed, has been 11 years since my mother died-- and I usually get really really REALLY emotional during this month.. but over the years God has really healed me and helped me deal with the mourning. But what particularly broke me down was my kids... thoughts completely filled my mind about how life would be if my mom was still around.. and how my kids would have a Grandma to go to and have fun.. and do stuff with her... The fact that she never got to meet them... it makes my heartbreak.. Sometimes memories just pop in my mind of her and it does get me down.. but I'm so much better then I was. We all have our days.

"Why are you crying?" she wipes the tear falling down his cheek.   He points to the kitchen cupboard "What do you want from there?" "Car!" "No car today, there's no time, baby" His mouth opens wide and screams "I've already told you no." She walks out of the kitchen.

Do you just stare at your kids sometimes and you're just shocked at how much they've grown? When you buy their first little onesies and vests and they're so tiny... and then all of a sudden they've outgrown it and they're walking.. they're taller.. they're talking.. And you literally have just blinked. That's what it feels like anyway. I remember when Matthew was a baby, and I got a gift from someone; it was clothes but it was clothes that was like 1-2 years. I looked at it and went, 'When will you fit in this?" Boom boom pow, he turned 1-- around 1 and a half he fit in it perfectly and I just went 'Wow' It's just such a great thing to see when your children are growing and flourishing.. don't judge me but I get emotional sometimes! These little humans that were growing inside me, are growing up! Thank you God.

I was waiting to drop Jeremiah off to nursery one day... and this parent that drops her daughter off at the same time; who just always greets me with a 'Hello, how are you' decided to strike up a small conversation with me. She asked me where do I live, because she was telling me how she's not driving and some other details. I told her where I live and she looked at me in shock and said 'Why did you decide to put your child here?' I explained to her how Jeremiah has a speech delay; and the nursery he's at currently, (well it was the children's centre that's attached to it) really supported him during his speech and language sessions (when we were allowed to go outside -_-) and he got very acquainted with all the surroundings so I just thought it would be the best place for him-- and it is because he's getting an immense amount of support and he's progressed a lot with his speech. Then she asked me... how old he is, I told her, and this is the one...