Dee: (The) Mama Blog

Life is so funny... My first child didn't start speaking until he was 3, nearly 3 and a half.. and my second pretty much starting talking when he just turned 2. I'm finding it surreal that my kids are talking. Is that weird? lol It's like I never thought I would get here. When Jeremiah wasn't talking.. I felt like a failure. I would as myself so many questions.. "When is he going to say mummy?" or "Will he be able to talk?" But he's talking! And it's crazy to hear him say some things now, like 'What!" And Matthew too.. he is the chatterbox and it makes me laugh so much. And what makes it more hilarious is people do not think Matthew talks.. but he talks.. ALOT. lol. And it makes me smile when I hear both of their little voices talking to each other. I had such an emotional moment when both of the boys were having a conversation with each other.. they were talking about a toy (very important lol) but firstly, I never heard Jeremiah ha...

"Mummy I'm baby" "No you're not... you're a boy. You're growing up!" "No! I'm baby"

Whenever myself and the boys are watching things on TV, both of the boys will jump on me and go 'Mummy what happened?"  Which I believe is a great developmental move, because before they never asked that-- they just watched the TV and sometimes would point to things they are familiar with, but to now want to understand what is actually going on and distinguish emotions too-- I'm really pleased with the two of them. I purposely do something with them for them to work their brain a little... When they ask me 'Mummy what happened?" I'll go "I don't know, you tell me what happened." And they would both attempt to tell me something. I'm so pleased especially with Jeremiah because now he's able to tell me what is actually happening, or at least attempt if he really doesn't know. And I'm so proud of him because he has made leaps and bounds with his speech-- his understanding has always been there, but it's as if now he is seeking out...

Last week I was doing a lot of errands in preparation for the kids start in September. So I've been ordering uniforms and looking for school shoes and getting all the bits and bobs together. One of my uniform orders was missing an item so I decided to go to the shop to pick it up. I had the boys with me-- and my boys are the most inquisitive children you could ever meet.. they just want to know everything "Mum what's that' "Mum what's this one" "Mum look!"  Honestly.. I think every child is like this..lol They were just making rounds in the shop and a lady with her daughter comes in and the boys rush past her and I immediately say 'Sorry!" and she says, "Don't worry about it, I've got kids, I completely understand' and the way my heart just sank-- in a good way, and in my head I'm saying 'Thank goodness, she's not judging me" Because honestly.. we are judged a lot as parents. If our children are knees u...

"Mummy!" He lifts up his blue pajama bottoms with rockets on. "Is this the one you want to wear?" "Yeah." "Go on then, put it on" "Nooooo!" He throws himself on the floor and starts screaming "Excuse me" I say, as I pick him up. "What is that all about? You know how put on your clothes" "I don't want it" "You don't want to wear it?" "Yeah" "You do want to wear it?" "Yeah" "So put it on!" "I need help!" "You do not. I've seen you dress by yourself" "Mummy!" "Yes" "I did it" He giggles.

I keep having this reoccurring memory that makes me laugh so much. I don't know if your children do this, but whenever you're preparing their food, or they have requested a snack of some sort.. do you find that they keep hovering in and out of the kitchen-- not saying anything, but peering their heads around you to see if you're doing the food or if it's ready? Both of my boys do this. Or even funnier.. they will perch themselves in the kitchen WAITING for the food until they see its done. I used to get very irritated when they did this and would shout at them to go and sit down at the table. But then one of the days that they did it again.. I remembered so vividly that is what I used to do to my mum! I can remember my mum shouting at me! lol!  Oh my goodness.. life is so funny. So I don't get angry at them anymore. I just laugh to myself about it. But it just makes you think.. a lot of the things that your children do.. did you do them? And do you think it's ju...

So... you see how they say if you want your child to behave in a certain way, or learn manners etc.. we must model it first right? Well I have had a hilarious time with modelling behaviour.. let me give you some examples. So when the boys throw something on the floor our of anger or frustration.. I'll say 'pick it up' in a very stern tone. Now if I drop something... Jeremiah will go 'Mummy, pick it up'.. and I'll stop in my tracks  and be like 'excuse me' then realizing he's jut copying me, and how I say it to him. lol. Honestly, if I didn't have my own children I don't think I would have realized the EXTENT at which they do watch every single thing that you do and say. Wow.

"Mummy I want to go to school" "You will be going in September" "Yeah, go school in September" "Yes" "Mummy I want to go play at school in September" "You will. September is 1 month" "Yeah, 1 month"

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grow up? Matthew said at random to me, "Mum, I want to be a chef" (This is a 3 year old...) I said to him, "Of course, you can do whatever you want to do." He went "Yeah, I want cook" Because of recently, he's been hovering around me in the kitchen; and he even wants to help me-- and when he's doing his imaginative play, he's always 'cooking'. And it's making me think I wonder what they will become.. but whatever they do become, I do not want to be the one to kill their dream. We all had something we wanted to do when we 'grow up' right? But it's so easy to crush someone's dream just by our words-- and as we are our children's guardians.. they value our words the most. In certain cultures, it's a requirement you become a doctor.. or a nurse.. or something of high calibre because the parents can boast or brag.. but is that truly what your child wants to do? The mo...

So I had a few days last week where I was able to go out.. by myself. I got to meet an old friend, I just got to be myself.. and do things.. for myself.. by myself. Motherhood is so demanding -- and we are only humans, we also need to time to recharge and go in harder and be the best that we can be for our children. No doubt I missed them so much when I was out-- but it was really good for me. And good for them too. My boys have to get used to me not always being around. One thing I don't want is for them to totally depend on me-- that would be the worst thing I could ever do. Just those hours just being me-- no children hanging off my leg, shouting "Mummy I'm hungry" "Mummy Mummy mummy" a million times was a breath of fresh air for me! I did at some point feel guilty because I went out 2 days last week. I know.. it's only 2 days but I was saying to myself 'Oh no.. is this too much, are they going to forget about me" I know. Silly right? But I f...

"Mummy where are you going?" "Out" "Mummy go outside?" "Yes" "I want to go outside too?" "No baby, you'll stay home" "Yeah, I stay home"

I think I worry way too much... But I can't help it! Have you ever sat down and questioned whether your child will go through the same sort of circumstances that you went through as a teenager/young adult? Have you ever thought of ways that you could prevent them from happening? lol But.. you can't prevent them from happening right?  What we went through in our age.. we managed to come out of it, but our children are different people.. with different thought processes.. would they be able to handle it? This is why I'm being so intentional with how I am with them-- I want to create an atmosphere where they will feel comfortable to come and speak or open up to me with no fear of maybe how I would react.. but they would have enough confidence to know that I wouldn't and that anything that they would say I would speak to them as a person. I don't know if it's because I have boys.. but I am genuinely scared of the generation that is coming because the world is changi...

You can teach your children.. but we have to realize.. everything that we do... the way we speak, the way we do things in the house.. the children are watching... and it eventually show. I had a funny moment with the boys. I was cleaning up the kitchen (cleaning up the kitchen is a neverending job...) and Matthew appeared and was taking Jeremiah by the arm and was saying "You go on the wall, stay there!" And I watched them. That is something I do to them when they're doing the most or do something really silly. And I just stood there laughing... because I never taught them how to do that... they would watch me when I'm putting them on the wall... And now look.. they're putting each other on the wall as 'punishment'. It humbled me because.. there are so many things we do and say without realizing that the children are watching. They may not be staring at us.. but while they're playing or they're doing what they're doing.. they do see and they do...